Brain collapse, kernel panic.
2022-02-04
In a sense, I'm a prepper. Prepper as in doomsday prepper. By the way, you may have noticed by now that I do not give a shit about spelling or grammar. If you can understand it, then it's doing it's job. Standardized spelling is death sentence for creative language. It's a means test for, you know what d&g said this better than I could: “Forming grammatically correct sentences is for the normal individual the prerequisite for any submission to social laws. No one is supposed to be ignorant of grammaticality; those who are belong in special institutions. The unity of language is fundamentally political.” - A thousand plateus. anyway I'm a prepper, but not an idiot. There are idiots who call themselves preppers. In fact that's the main type who calls themself a prepper. They hoard amunition and canned food, and dig bunkers in their backyards. Not sure what those guys hope to acheive other than deluding themselves into forgetting their own mortality. That's probably it actually. I don't intend to stay holed up in a bunker after collapse. Seems boring. Also shit. Doesn't work. Collapse by the way, reffers to a the downfall of industrial civilisation, rapid or gradual. Isn't it kind of obvious that we're living in dying empires? Capitalism is a machine, and that machine is powerd by fossil fuels. And those won't last forever. I'm not 100% the end is nye any second now it's all gonna come crashing down. I think it's actually a fairly small chance, i don't want to quantify it or make any predictions because I can't, and anyone who claims they can is lying to you and probably trying to sell you something. (this includes liberals who rave about how the world is going to end in 12 years because of global warming.) What I do think however, is that it is useful to consider models of scarcity. This doesn't mean i think everywhere in the world is going to suddenly experience severe scarcity, just that those models are worth considering. Just like somebody has to think about what to do about rogue AGIs, even if it never happens. The difference being that scarcity is much more real and present, even if it's probably a smaller threat. Personally, I express critical support for AGI against biofascist humanists. Not only do models of scarcity (particularly energy scarcity) apply for the event of large scale collapse, they're also very useful for building. I am a creative prepper, creative as in participating in acts of creation. Or trying to at least. Those bunker guys are the opposite. Idk. I don't like being spied on. This poses a problem as it directly aligns me against capital. You don't wanna be aligned against capital really. Tends to end badly. I'm also hella autistic and mentally ill. Not that that can't be recouperated, depression is by now precouperated. Buy your depression merch. Listen to mask by minecraft youtuber song Dream. Ironic name. Somethin gsomething hauntology. Autism has been partially recouperated. Japan figured that out. Anime is capital targetting the autists. The problem being we're too slippery. But it'll get us soon enough, maybe it already has. However, neurodivergence is quite tricky for capital. Insert mark fisher quote here that I can't be bothered to find. There's no ritalin for autists. Stop taking your meds, start burning down hospitals (for legal reasons I will clarify this is meant alegorically). I care about not being spied on that's what I was saying. It's hard to not be spied on. You gotta go somewhere without as many spies. OFF THE GRID. This type of thing. Get some sheep. Sheep are good because you get wool AND milk. Well depends on the climate. Good for hilly, rocky, grassy terrain in northern europe and similar climates. Hand carve wind turbines out of wood (fuck fiberglass). Install NetBSD on a raspberry pi. You leave capital behind and they try and starve you out. Shelter ain't too hard, food is tricky but doable, especially if you're willing to still vaguelyl participate in markets. You should be. Sell your sheep's milk kefir and woolen items. Use that money to hoard IBM Thinkpads and libreboot them. Connect to the hyperboria network, whatever that is. (it's some sort of p2p meshnet using cjdns but seems to be very early stages. I should look into that more). They don't want you to not have the intel management engine. If you don't know what that is, look it up with a privacy respecting search engine. Fundamentally, five eyes are phoning home. It's a tiny tiny operating system on your intel chips that you can't get rid of. It sends mysterious data back to intel. If you think that's not spooky, the NSA does, since they commisioned intel to make chips just for them that don't have it. They know it's a security and privacy risk, probably because they're using it. Companies have to turn over data to the government. Sheep don't give your data to the government, they just eat grass and stuff. Blacknose sheep videos on youtube.com. Energy is going to be scarce if you create your anarchist commune or whatever. That's why you gotta consider scarcity. Look to the past. No one survived alone. We have the american myth of the individual. No one lives as an individual. I'm listening to crystal castles. That's music. That's what this is all about. They're the only real cyberpunk band. Fuck that neo-80s, 2077 fuck all of that bullshit. The only real cyberpunks are crystal castles, playboy carti and me. there's nothing less punk than knowing what a time signature is. While I'm here, fuck jacob collier. I'm beefing with that twink. Making art is good. Making cheese is good. 6000 years or more of cheese making. Now that's job security. Making cheese and making art are the same thing, because cheese is a form of art. Everything is a form of art. Art isn't real. Im anti-art. I am anti art because I believe in the abolition of the boundary between art and life. That old joke where someone goes to a modenr art exhibit, and they can't tell what's art and what isn't? "oh this air conditioning unit is the best art" yeah fuck you it is though. Air conditioning units are more artistic genius than most shit in galleries. This is not a "modern art bad", modern art is good, it's art galleries that are bad.
there are various things which should burn.
Renuables are not a drag and drop replacement for fossil fuels. No sun? no wind? Good luck. "oh we'll just store it in batteries". Assuming you have that much surpluss, assuming you can stil make batteries when the lithium runs out, assuming batteries aren't prohibitively expensive. One way or another, we're going to be mor eenergy-poor. That's fine. If you have enough sheep and thinkpads. Solar pannels are fine. Im not a primitivist. They're just not an EZ one size fits all fix to keep society running as is. Maybe computers aren't as good as I thought. I shoudl start using no computers for music. Next album no computer? How?? Synths are expensive. Software is nice because it's free. I mean, sometimes people tell me that they bought software. I'm not sure why they do that. It's literally free. Just look around for a bit. I have a bass guitar, that's a synth. I should just be a bass guitar. What I really need to do is figure out how to make my thinkpad make good sounds. It makes shit sounds. NO! I made it make good sounds the other day. yoooo thinkpad bass guitar combo time. I'm going to try and make an album like that. Thats' cool. Look forward to that. 1 bit zx spectrum VSTs sounded good. zx spectrums are fairly cheap. Low power too. Won't break. Good computers. I can't program. Im' too stupid to program. I can't learn to program because I'm too stupid to understand it. I can play bass guitar because it's easier than programming. They gave me a degree for writing an essay about serial experiments lain and playing the bass guitar. They give those things out like candy. I don't want a degree. I'm not paying back my student loans. I got a degree because I had to. degrees won't matter post-collapse. I want a gun. I live in a cucked country without guns. Well there's guns but only bad people have them. Like police and gang members. Gang members sound cool on paper but they rob you with a knife. London moment. I suppose the police are also gang members, but they're government subsidised gang members. Well so are other gangs I suppose. If I knew how to program I could make a program to do cool things. I can' do that though. I try to learn but im too stupid. My brain doens't work like that. I like thinking about sheep and stuff like that. Not while loops.
the fact of the matter is, sometimes bad things need to get done, and you need bad people to do them. I could be a bad person if I needed to. I am broke and autistic and bipolar. I probably have adhd. The government won't even give me meth for being adhd. That's a shitty deal. adhd isn't bad inherantly, but society isn't optimised for it. Maybe that's why I can't learn to code.
I still haven't really wrapped my head around being good at vim. I mean i'm ok. But better is always better, you know? I went schizo reading subarashiki hibi once. I have seen lain 8 times. I lie to people and say i've read the translated bits of the lain ps1 game. I haven't done it. I follow a cool person on twitter who has done that. I follow people on twitter dot com. I hate that. But i am a hikikomori. I have nothing else to do. Sometimes I watch xqc react clips for all day because I can't bring myself to do anything else. Is writing this bad for my mental health. I think it might be based to deepen my own delusions. It would make me more interesting. Anythig other than boring. I want to be anything other than boring. Being boring is worse than being dead. I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring I don't want to be boring.
When I said my next album will be thinkpad and bass guitar, I meant my next next album. my actual next album may or may not be a y3shtanky0u album called "menhera moment". It's bad and bad. when i make y3thanky0u albums im like "i want people to listen to it but not like listen to it" you know. I liek them. Sometimes. benjamins dragon millionaire is the best one. Maybe my best album full stop.
Historically, when an empire collapses and fragments, those most succesful are the ones most able to salvage and scavange the corpse of theold. The world is most beautiful when it's over. I'm autistic I don't like change. who knows.